A Realization.

Isn't funny how the mind can wonder?.. Sometimes I just don't even know. I'm always asking myself, how did things end up this? Don't get me wrong, thing are going well great, but somehow a part of me feels like I could've done something better.. I could be better.

I hate feeling a low, a low that I can't dig myself out of but all I can do is just try to. I have supports from few, I just wish that it could mean more. Since the beginning of this year, I have felt like I've grown so much as a person. Heck, its almost my 17th birthday and let me tell you being 16 was not as sweet as people say it to be. I went through so much crapp from people that made me have to question all the actions that people make. I got lost trying to figure why people do the things they do that I questioned myself and my own better judgement.

I felt as though I was loosing at this game so called life. I was just a meaningless factor to it.. Now, I have an optimistic mind and all I can ever really do is move on from people I grew out of and know that there is so much better out there for me. I just need to believe in it.

Being year older means being more wiser, not so naive. Learning from my mistakes and putting to use all of the lessons that I've learned. I've become more independent and established who I am from the rest out there. I want to grow so much more now..

I want a purpose. A big purpose to why I'm still here today. Should I worship, should I pray, should I hope?
Worship to those who gave my life?
Pray for those who need more help than myself?
And hope for a better tomorrow?

My heart, mind, and soul have an urge. A desire to just help, to do better. I still struggle find who I am. But with each step that I take is a step closer to seeing who I truly am..

-Lisa