Good Family Time :)

So this weekend I had a family BBQ at my house. Oh boy, was it soo stressfull trying to prepare everything. We had made so much food and there was no surprise that there wasn't any left at the end of the night.

On that day, it really made me realize how huge my family is! All my cousins were running around outside and they don't all get along. It got so hard when it came to, "Lisa they're not sharing," or "Lisa they won't play with me," or "Lisa I'm hungryy!" Agh, I was running around mucho.

The fun part of the day was getting to just play around. No worries. No stress. We played volleyball, taught the girls a little dance, and just goofed off.

I lovee my family. They are really so chilled out. But at the end of the night there had been so much drama between my Uncle and Janet. They were screaming at each other, and I had only thought was all the fun and games. Until my cousin came upstairs to my sister's room, and is asking us what was going on. The whole fight was pointless, really.

-Lisa

So Good, Too Good, Perfect.

Everything has been going so smooth lately. I'm loving every minute of it :) Well here's a recap of my lonng extensive week since I didn't really update much this week.

Well first off I had my DECA officer interview yesterday. The Area 1 president was there to interview me and at the beginning I was not the least bit nervous but once I got there and had to sit for awhile and wait to be called it that's when it him me. Right before the first questions they asked me I did a huge sigh, and I'm just thinking "Omg what did I do." But I'm happy with the answers I gave and plus Ms.Galli loves me. It sucks cause 4 other people are running for President too, but I'm going to be trying to run for Area 1 President. But we'll just see how it goes. The elections aren't 'till June 2nd! That's so long from now. But that will just give me some time to work on my speech.

And now I'm scrunched about finals. I got my final for english, my study guide for spanish, and now I'm going to be getting my world history final on Tuesday of next week. It's greaaaat =/ I gotta not stress about this so I'm just taking it one at time and doing everything early.

Than there's stupid drama on the Dance Team. But its so whatever because by the next week everyone will forget about it. I can't wait to do our bonding day because we REALLY need it. Our Ruby's diner fundraiser is coming up soon! I want to see everyone there cause I'll be there the whole time it's going on :)

Oh yeah, I've applied to be in ASB cabinet for next year. Does anyone else thing I'm piling on too much? Strange, my parents don't think its enough. But oh well, the busier I am, the better.

Hmmm, Well as for tonight I've been helping my Mom prepare for the BBQ tomorrow. I'm excited cause it's been awhile since my family's gotten together to just party. And I'm going to take advantage of it and relax and not worry about so much.There's going to be so many of my cousins around. But I lovee it <3

-Lisa

btw, I think he's the best things thats ever happened to me.
"You seem like the perfect one for me, you're all I ever wanted, you're all I ever think of, it's true. Hun, it's hard to be away from you, I know it may sound cliche, but I'm crazy about you."

Ugh,

I need to get set my priorities straight. There's so many things going on. And I'm just overwhelmed hella! I think maybe, just maybe I've taken things too far. But everything I'm doing is what I want to do.

But, I'm starting to see that I'm double booking my weekends, that I have to cancel on one thing for another. Oh, how I wish I could be in 2 places at once! I really don't have anymore time for myself. Sounds strange, but you know just some of the time to relax. I can't. I love having my school life, my friend life, and my family life. Even if that means no rest!

Speaking of being restless, some of my teacher's have already been talking about what to study for Finals, and having a Final Project =/ Shitt, I'm not ready at all! I'm passing my classes with a B average. And I hate how that's not good enough. If you were compare me to any other B average student you would see that I excel in so many extra-curricular activities AND am still able to juggle doing my homework. Not to mention that I always try to put on this oh-so happy face :) . . Ha.

I just keep telling myself, "It'll be worth it AFTER you graduate." That's 2 years away, but why does it seem so close?

Well the one thing keeping me sane right now, is seeing him everyday. It's silly to say but he's giving me some stability in my crazy life. He's just got this corky way of making me laugh, even when I'm supposed to be paying attention to the stupid equations on the board!

-Lisa

Late Night Reminisce

Make a wish and place it in your heart,
anything you want, everything you want.
-One Tree Hill
--

Here I am again, blogging, all because I can't seem to get to sleep. =/ Boy, do I hate Monday's. I'm starting to realize the only thing I really look forward to is:
Being able to see him, Seeing my girls, and than having dance practice or a DECA meeting. Other than that, I wouldn't care for school. Blah.

I really miss middle school. I grew up so much, even though I was naive . . I wouldn't ever trade it for the world. I remember all that ever mattered was getting to school (showing up late of 'course!), actually staying at the school 'till 4 and if you didn't you were considered uncool, going to every single ASC, going to choir/band concerts just because friends were in it, taking pictures was the it thing to do, you were a rebel if you didn't make your day (Haha!), getting kicked out of the mall was badass, staying out late was around 9, saying best friends forever was a daily routine, and always planning on what you wanted in the future when actually the future was then and now.

I wish I cherished it more, but I'll always remember it.

-Lisa

Good Week

Wow, this week was slow at first but soon went by really fast. It's crazy. I still have hella things to do! Ugh, I hate it when its like this.

But at the same time, I'd rather be busy than constantly trying to find something to fill my time with. Did you know we have less than a month of school left? It's insane. I cannot wait to be a junior next year. Everyone keeps telling met that it's the hardest. Great.. but I still can' wait. Even with all the work that will be coming up.

But seriously, things feel soo good right now, especially with him. :) Things are slowly moving forward. I've been seeig him before school, during breaks, staying afterschool for him when I don't have to. But it's like when I see him, I get these butterflies than I haven't had in soo long. This boy is honestly so amazing. Corny, but I like it. Everyone say's there's no such thing as being perfect but when I'm with him it is perfection. Haha, okay I'm so done rambling on about this. But I really, really like him.

And what's made this week even better is there has been SUNSHINE. I'm really loving it. It's starting to feel like summer is coming soon. I love it <3

-Lisa

Rushed

There's a difference between :
Love & Like.
Wrong & Right.
Never run if you're not ready to step
& never forgive if you're not ready to forget.
---
Hmm, I thought that was a lovely quote that I'd like to just sharee.

Well anyways, we are hitting the halfway mark for the week to be over & I really can't wait! there's just so much I want to finish. I know it seems like I'm rushing, it's because I am. There is not enough time, scratch that, there's never enough time.

There's less than a month of school left and I'm scrambling to get things turned in down, and just studying my butt off. It's so ridiculous how the teachers are now making us do so many tests and doing lots of assignments because they need to now put grades in.

In my minde set, I am soo ready to go. To leave and be gone. But the weather is most def. bring things down. It should not be raining in May =/ It needs to start getting nicer by this weekend, I want it to feel like summer sooon.

On an even better note; I've been starting to see someone new :) I like him mucho, but who know's where this will go. I don't know much, what I do know is he makes me the happiest, even when I'm at my worst.

-Lisa

Restless

Ugh I can't believe I'm still up right now. For some reason, I just can't get myself to get tired right now. There's just wayy too many things going on in my mind. I wish I could just stop it all, but I can't.

Plus I am really not ready for school tomorrow =/ I'm too lazy to get all my stuff together so I know I'm going to be rushing in the morning. It's fine with me cause I hate getting to school early anyways. But this totally beats the purpose of me wanting to be "on top of things."

Whatever, I know that I can't really handle things right now. And I have a feeling that this week might be going rough even though it hasn't really even started. .

-Lisa

Lovely Friday

The weather's finally starting to get nice out (:

But school is a total dragg. I'm getting horrible with test lately and its just bringing down my grades. Lately I've been just having a hard time focusing. There's too much going on. Urg.

Well on a good note ; the dance team finally got our uniforms! I was so excited when I saw the boxes in Ms.Mehaffey's office. It was cutee seeing the girls wear their jackets. I can't wait to get our warm up suits later cause those are going to be really cute too. Hmm, practices have been going pretty good. I can't wait 'till we finally get the whole routine down and then add our transitions to everything.

-Lisa

It's Moving Too Fast

I can't believe we are already in May ! Where did all the time go? Cause I sure as hell did not cherish it enough. (Something I really need to change.) It seems like I'm going about day by day, but the days are moving by quickly. Lets press pause and slow it all down !

I still have so much to do, but I'm proud to stay that I've been able to stay on top of things, minus a few that I've just put off because I know that I can't handle it all right now.

Hmm, I don't know what else to blog about so I'm going to talk about dance for a quickie because I'm hella excited about everything that we're getting together. We FINALLY having our uniforms :) Our advisors are going to pick a day when we get to wear them. I hope its going to be soon. We have a few more fundraiser before the year is over. And we got our coach.

Oh yes! I can't wait for summer. I'm going to 2 Leadership Camps & Dance Camp. Talk about busy, but I can't wait. I love living a fast pace lifee.

-Lisa

btw I want to say he's different but I don't want false hope anymore =/

I Get So Weak

I'm tired emotionally, mentally, and physically. I seriously just cannot focus. And it's taking almost everything in me to do things that I normally wouldn't be so hard to do.

I'm still sick =/ Which just adds on to how I'm feeling. Last night I cried so hard. And over what ? I tv show. Lame. I know. I could just relate so much that it hit my heart. So everything just spilled over and thoughts kept rushing over.

I just think I've been keeping to myself too much lately. But I don't know what else to do. Everyone's busy, I don't want my problems to burden someone elses. Especially when it's not that big of a deal. I've picked up pieces on my own, I'm going to try to do it again. I can do it, Right ?

Worst thing ever is I miss him, I miss him more than ever. He can be sitting right next to me, but I miss him. I know its my fault. But he deserves so much better than what I can't give to him. As much as it hurts, I'd rather have him happy with someone else. Even if I'm not the one putting that smile on his face.

I admit I don't like myself right now, so how can I make someone else happy when I can't get myself to be happy? That's the thing, I can't. I need to learn to love myself first.

-Lisa

I love my Mom & Dad

Honestly I don't know what I do with out them. I hate the petty little fights I get with them. I know its mostly my fault that I'm so dang emotional, but I understand that they do the things they do because they care.

I've been sick for the past couple of days and they have really just been taking care of me. I'm really not even that sick! It's nice but a little over-caring. I feel like I'm 7 again. My mom came into my room before she went to work and told me to just sleep in if I needed to do and that when she gets home that I'll eat soup and stuff. I'm just like okay.. Than my dad has just been like are you feeling better, making sure I take medicine. Goodness, I love my parents <3

-Lisa

Inspiration

It's such a good feeling to know that you've helped someone out. .

A couple of days ago in my English class we were supposed to write in our journals for 5 minutes. The prompt was what does Hate means to you. I feel really bad for my teacher sometimes because the class just doesn't want to ever particpate. So when she asks the class if anyone wants to share, its just silent. I hate reading what I've written so I volunteer my journal and had Brandon read it out loud to the class. After that people start sharing their journals. I'm just sitting there thinking, wow I helped get that going! Everyone's got potential, they all just need a little push.

I wish I had my journal with me to share, but I'll be putting up later on when I am able to get a hold of it. My teacher had suggested that I submit it in for the poetry slam going on. I'm kinda =/ about it. When I post it up I would love to get some feedback !

-Lisa