So how does it happen, great love? Nobody knows...but what I can tell you is that it happens in the blink of an eye. One moment, you're enjoying your life and the next, you're wondering how you ever lived without them.
-Hitch
---
These past days have started off my summer hella good :) I'm loving it so much, mainly because I've been doing something every minute. It's truee, summer brings happiness.
& I've really found mine. I trusted my heart, and it brought me to someone amazing. I've taken many risks, but this one I dived for. I really can't see myself with anyone else. He's better than rest that is for suree.
So far I'm going to just relax and enjoy this. No more worries. Maybe until August starts.
-Lisa
Friday, June 20, 2008
Monday, June 16, 2008
The FINAL Stretch
I can't believe how fast this week is going by. I've been studying my brains out for the last couple of hours. I'm so happy that I only have 1 hard final tomorrow which is biology but on Wednesday is all my hard classes. I'm just trying to not stress so much. And just take it all one at a time.
I know that I'm prepared. But I can't help but just stress. I can't help it. Stressing will always be on of those habits that I can't break. Just like procrastinating! Ahh.
But besides all that, I'm supaa' excited for summer to start :)
Just relaxing and hanging out with my darlinggs, cause no one can do it better than them. <3
-Lisa
I know that I'm prepared. But I can't help but just stress. I can't help it. Stressing will always be on of those habits that I can't break. Just like procrastinating! Ahh.
But besides all that, I'm supaa' excited for summer to start :)
Just relaxing and hanging out with my darlinggs, cause no one can do it better than them. <3
-Lisa
Saturday, June 14, 2008
& Tonight I'm Spilling Out My Heart,
Each and everyday its hard to keep going on day by day knowing that a part of you will always be hurting. Sure, you can tuck all those feelings far deep down into the back of your mind and to never remember it again. But once it gets brought up, it brings the pain all back. It doesn't matter who hurt you or how long it’s been, because inevitably pain hurts all the same. Resolution; Move on. Never turn back. And realize that now, you are a better person than those who have hurt you. Despite the predicaments people have put you through, you never turn towards - hate. My mom has brought me up to be so much better. I'd rather take the high rode.
Some days I want to give in, give up, and never get up again. But life, doesn't ever stop. All you have to do is keep going and take everything that gets thrown at you. I've been through far too much to let anything or anyone try to stop me.
Many of us can be blind to this, but there are people out there who just have bad hearts. I know that you want to believe that everyone has good in them, and maybe you change them to be better. But sometimes you just have to deal with the fact that maybe you can't. Some people just want to see you fail and get bitter when you don't. Prove them wrong. I often try to comprehend why people do the things they do. Do they think it’s funny to see someone try so, so hard but to laugh when they fail? Do they think it's funny to see someone heart breaking piece by piece? Do they its funny to see someones dream shatter right before their eyes? What I think, it's not funny at all. Why do they?
Sometimes I wonder if I've taken my life for granted to this point. I've realized this for years now that I am truly blessed in so many ways. I have a beautiful family, I have met people who have the most amazing hearts, and I have been given so many opportunities that people would die for.
Although I have come to these realizations, why am I not able to figure out why I seem to doubt myself? I've always been told that I have potential to do whatever I set my mind to. But a part of me is always hesitant to do what I should. Is it fear? Fear of failure? Fear of disappointment? Fear of never being able to reach that full satisfaction?
Answers - Yes/Yes/Yes.
I'm done with wondering what if's? Thinking of the could've, should've, and would’ve. That's in the past. I'm moving forward. Like I've said before. I'm going onto bigger and better. No longer am I going to let what anyone thinks or says bring out the worst of me, because I know that I am way better than that.
In this exact moment of my life, I'm feeling accomplished, satisfied, scared, anxious. Accomplished with learning how to put things into perspective. Satisfied that I have been able to become stronger emotionally. Scared for the future. But Anxious to grow up and put everything I've learned to good use.
Most importantly, I'm happy. Happy for the fact that I now know who my true friends are. Happy that my family's relationship is healthy both physically and emotionally. And that for once in my life, that maybe just maybe I've made the right decision for my heart. It's a big risk to say, but I have hope for this one. I really do.
& now I am done for my blogging for tonight, ending this with an amazing quote.
Live from this ;
"Each person that you have met for a moment, a season or who still are with you, were brought to you for a specific reason. Cherish each of them. Laugh with them. And at times, love them. Do not take any of them for granted. But, when it's time, for a few, let go of them. Don't hold onto something that never was - learn from it and move on; it'll only make you stronger for what is to come."
-Lisa
Some days I want to give in, give up, and never get up again. But life, doesn't ever stop. All you have to do is keep going and take everything that gets thrown at you. I've been through far too much to let anything or anyone try to stop me.
Many of us can be blind to this, but there are people out there who just have bad hearts. I know that you want to believe that everyone has good in them, and maybe you change them to be better. But sometimes you just have to deal with the fact that maybe you can't. Some people just want to see you fail and get bitter when you don't. Prove them wrong. I often try to comprehend why people do the things they do. Do they think it’s funny to see someone try so, so hard but to laugh when they fail? Do they think it's funny to see someone heart breaking piece by piece? Do they its funny to see someones dream shatter right before their eyes? What I think, it's not funny at all. Why do they?
Sometimes I wonder if I've taken my life for granted to this point. I've realized this for years now that I am truly blessed in so many ways. I have a beautiful family, I have met people who have the most amazing hearts, and I have been given so many opportunities that people would die for.
Although I have come to these realizations, why am I not able to figure out why I seem to doubt myself? I've always been told that I have potential to do whatever I set my mind to. But a part of me is always hesitant to do what I should. Is it fear? Fear of failure? Fear of disappointment? Fear of never being able to reach that full satisfaction?
Answers - Yes/Yes/Yes.
I'm done with wondering what if's? Thinking of the could've, should've, and would’ve. That's in the past. I'm moving forward. Like I've said before. I'm going onto bigger and better. No longer am I going to let what anyone thinks or says bring out the worst of me, because I know that I am way better than that.
In this exact moment of my life, I'm feeling accomplished, satisfied, scared, anxious. Accomplished with learning how to put things into perspective. Satisfied that I have been able to become stronger emotionally. Scared for the future. But Anxious to grow up and put everything I've learned to good use.
Most importantly, I'm happy. Happy for the fact that I now know who my true friends are. Happy that my family's relationship is healthy both physically and emotionally. And that for once in my life, that maybe just maybe I've made the right decision for my heart. It's a big risk to say, but I have hope for this one. I really do.
& now I am done for my blogging for tonight, ending this with an amazing quote.
Live from this ;
"Each person that you have met for a moment, a season or who still are with you, were brought to you for a specific reason. Cherish each of them. Laugh with them. And at times, love them. Do not take any of them for granted. But, when it's time, for a few, let go of them. Don't hold onto something that never was - learn from it and move on; it'll only make you stronger for what is to come."
-Lisa
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
No more,
I think whatever scares you is exactly where you should go because safe and comfortable means you've already done it.
----
Oh boy, school has been bitchin'! I can't wait to get out. There's only a week left. Yessss :) All my finals are going to be hella easy, so I'm not stressing anymoree. It's going to be all smooth starting tomorrow.
I'm so happy that I did my world history presenation. I don't know why I was freaking about it so much. I thought I could've done better as in detail wise. But it's all good. I'm mucho content with the score I got though.
Hmm, than in Spanish we are doing a skit. Hella easy, cause we get to read off of the paper and I only gots 1 line throughout the whole thing! Than in english we're doing play that we write. Talk about easy A, right?
Seriously, no more stressing.
-Lisa
----
Oh boy, school has been bitchin'! I can't wait to get out. There's only a week left. Yessss :) All my finals are going to be hella easy, so I'm not stressing anymoree. It's going to be all smooth starting tomorrow.
I'm so happy that I did my world history presenation. I don't know why I was freaking about it so much. I thought I could've done better as in detail wise. But it's all good. I'm mucho content with the score I got though.
Hmm, than in Spanish we are doing a skit. Hella easy, cause we get to read off of the paper and I only gots 1 line throughout the whole thing! Than in english we're doing play that we write. Talk about easy A, right?
Seriously, no more stressing.
-Lisa
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Rambling.
Let me ask you something, do you have, like, an alarm in your head that goes off every time i'm happy with someone else? What do you want from me? I fly to LA, I ask you to marry me, you said no, so I moved on. Why haven't you? - Lucas/One Tree Hill
----
I mucho don't like finals! I hate the presentations/projects/tests. Lately I've been getting only 5 hours a sleep a night just because I gotta stay up to study, but not really. Mostly just staying up because I can't sleep and don't want to sleep. So I wait until my eyes give in and fall asleep.
I want this week to go by fast. So than there will be only 1 week left. And we are out for summer vacation! But why, oh why is the weather being homo? I hatee it. Feels like we're in fall already. Ugh, where the sunshine?
My theory; Someone out there is very, very sad. So lets make someone happy :) Maybe that'll bring the sun out. But that's just my optimism speaking up.
Other than that. Things have been super good. I loveee it. I'm really happy for once, so let's not do anything to take that away please ?
-Lisa
----
I mucho don't like finals! I hate the presentations/projects/tests. Lately I've been getting only 5 hours a sleep a night just because I gotta stay up to study, but not really. Mostly just staying up because I can't sleep and don't want to sleep. So I wait until my eyes give in and fall asleep.
I want this week to go by fast. So than there will be only 1 week left. And we are out for summer vacation! But why, oh why is the weather being homo? I hatee it. Feels like we're in fall already. Ugh, where the sunshine?
My theory; Someone out there is very, very sad. So lets make someone happy :) Maybe that'll bring the sun out. But that's just my optimism speaking up.
Other than that. Things have been super good. I loveee it. I'm really happy for once, so let's not do anything to take that away please ?
-Lisa
Sunday, June 8, 2008
It Feels Good,
For once in my life, I feel as if everything is finally falling into place as it should. Only a week and half of school left. I am so ready for junior year. But wait, lets enjoy the summer nights that are coming sooon :)
On Friday, DECA positions were given. Seems as though we'll be having to share positions but its all good.
President - MYSELF ! , Diana
Vice - President - ASHLEY! & Riley.
Secretary - Cassie
Public Relations - Olivia
It's going to be so exciting next year. But a whole lot of work in the summer. I have so many ideas for state. And than running for Area president! That is going to a lot of work but worth it!
Hmmm, my family life. Is muy perfecto! It couldn't get any better. But super buzy. Feels as though I'm always booked with family events but I really wouldn't want it any other way.
And this weekend has been amazing. I think it has been one of my best yets! It started with the DECA banquet, hanging out at night, going to 360 with my sister and Rachel. Omg running in Marysville from Burger King back to Taco Bell, "Hey! You girls need to be more careful." Than there was driving around, forking, hide & seek in Wal - Mart, Denny's & so much moree. I can't wait for next weekend. I'm loving it. (:
-Lisa
On Friday, DECA positions were given. Seems as though we'll be having to share positions but its all good.
President - MYSELF ! , Diana
Vice - President - ASHLEY! & Riley.
Secretary - Cassie
Public Relations - Olivia
It's going to be so exciting next year. But a whole lot of work in the summer. I have so many ideas for state. And than running for Area president! That is going to a lot of work but worth it!
Hmmm, my family life. Is muy perfecto! It couldn't get any better. But super buzy. Feels as though I'm always booked with family events but I really wouldn't want it any other way.
And this weekend has been amazing. I think it has been one of my best yets! It started with the DECA banquet, hanging out at night, going to 360 with my sister and Rachel. Omg running in Marysville from Burger King back to Taco Bell, "Hey! You girls need to be more careful." Than there was driving around, forking, hide & seek in Wal - Mart, Denny's & so much moree. I can't wait for next weekend. I'm loving it. (:
-Lisa
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Don't you just love . .
knowing that somewhere, someone out there in this world will always love you, even when you can't love yourself. <3
---
This week is going by suppa fast. I don't even know what to do right now. I have so much to do. I feel as though I'm taking all this extra time for granted. Why must I feel this way? I guess I've always enjoyed living in the moment. Planning for the future and if its meant to be faith will draw the path for you.
Well as I'm moving forward with my life,
I'm starting to realize,
faith isn't the one doing the neglect,
faith isn't the one that walks away after a huge fight,
faith isn't the one who makes the mistake of saying no,
faith isn't the one picking up the phone,
faith isn't the one who's living with regret,
faith isn't the one tolerating a broken heart,
and most importantly faith isn't the one who is making the impulsed decisions.
It's all up to YOU. Faith can't do everything for you, but its the faith that gives you hope. Hope for a better tomorrow, a better future.
That's why I'm hoping. More like praying. . for healing. I'm starting to figure out the reason why I haven't been able to hold a steady relationship is because I still have baggage from the past. Baggage that should be long gone. I haven't let anything go, just merely ignoring and covering it all up. No matter how you put it, in the end pain hurts all the same.
Let me share with you some words I received from a blogger off of vox. It's quite funny how simple words from a stranger can change your way of thinking in an instant, but that's not funny at all. I asked, "Does it take time to heal? Or is the healer time?"
"if you wish to heal, then heal. it takes no time, only awareness.
breaking is breaking. destruction encourages destruction, encourages reconstruction. to bend is to not break, to not encourage repair. we bend, and we are ourselves. we break, and we become what we try to break from. remember, you break, you accept and own breakage. you bend, and no breakage comes back to you. rather, things bend around you. your gravitational pull increases, and thus your energies become more potent. this is a tool to use, but do not take it lightly or you become its tool.something to think about that my professor asked me today: "do you speak through the public, or does the public speak through you?" i can answer the latter to most, but i believe some things can be inherent. such as being aware of ones self in the worst of times, owning the good, honest, and just.you have that awareness, now. use it how you will.peace and prosperity, blessings in all you do. doing to all your attempts. success in your doing. bliss in your successes."
I hope anyone reading will take something away off of this post. It helped me tremendously. I hope it can help you. You would think I'd be bittersweet, but no. I'd rather be optimistic, it's a great learning experience. I know who I am, no one can change that.
-Lisa
---
This week is going by suppa fast. I don't even know what to do right now. I have so much to do. I feel as though I'm taking all this extra time for granted. Why must I feel this way? I guess I've always enjoyed living in the moment. Planning for the future and if its meant to be faith will draw the path for you.
Well as I'm moving forward with my life,
I'm starting to realize,
faith isn't the one doing the neglect,
faith isn't the one that walks away after a huge fight,
faith isn't the one who makes the mistake of saying no,
faith isn't the one picking up the phone,
faith isn't the one who's living with regret,
faith isn't the one tolerating a broken heart,
and most importantly faith isn't the one who is making the impulsed decisions.
It's all up to YOU. Faith can't do everything for you, but its the faith that gives you hope. Hope for a better tomorrow, a better future.
That's why I'm hoping. More like praying. . for healing. I'm starting to figure out the reason why I haven't been able to hold a steady relationship is because I still have baggage from the past. Baggage that should be long gone. I haven't let anything go, just merely ignoring and covering it all up. No matter how you put it, in the end pain hurts all the same.
Let me share with you some words I received from a blogger off of vox. It's quite funny how simple words from a stranger can change your way of thinking in an instant, but that's not funny at all. I asked, "Does it take time to heal? Or is the healer time?"
"if you wish to heal, then heal. it takes no time, only awareness.
breaking is breaking. destruction encourages destruction, encourages reconstruction. to bend is to not break, to not encourage repair. we bend, and we are ourselves. we break, and we become what we try to break from. remember, you break, you accept and own breakage. you bend, and no breakage comes back to you. rather, things bend around you. your gravitational pull increases, and thus your energies become more potent. this is a tool to use, but do not take it lightly or you become its tool.something to think about that my professor asked me today: "do you speak through the public, or does the public speak through you?" i can answer the latter to most, but i believe some things can be inherent. such as being aware of ones self in the worst of times, owning the good, honest, and just.you have that awareness, now. use it how you will.peace and prosperity, blessings in all you do. doing to all your attempts. success in your doing. bliss in your successes."
I hope anyone reading will take something away off of this post. It helped me tremendously. I hope it can help you. You would think I'd be bittersweet, but no. I'd rather be optimistic, it's a great learning experience. I know who I am, no one can change that.
-Lisa
Sunday, June 1, 2008
I'm Tired,
Tired of all the fussing, Tired of trying to figure things out. Tired of all the lies and neglect. Maybe I just shouldn't care anymore. It's wasting my time and my energy. I don't want to go back to how I used to feel. I've been finally feeling like . . me, again. Please, don't take that away.
I'm trying so hard. I'm fighting like hell to keep my ground. To stay happy. It's not that hard to ask for. I don't know why all of sudden things have gotten the way it has.
Did you know that I miss you? Did you know that I miss everything about you? No, you don't. And you know why? It's because you never asked? You never asked, because you never cared. Am I right? Probably. I thought I knew you. But I don't. I guess I know nothing about you.
The downfall to all this is that I will care for you. That's just the kind of person I am, I guess.
I got a lot going for me. I'm going to stay busy and just do my thing. That's it.
-Lisa
I'm trying so hard. I'm fighting like hell to keep my ground. To stay happy. It's not that hard to ask for. I don't know why all of sudden things have gotten the way it has.
Did you know that I miss you? Did you know that I miss everything about you? No, you don't. And you know why? It's because you never asked? You never asked, because you never cared. Am I right? Probably. I thought I knew you. But I don't. I guess I know nothing about you.
The downfall to all this is that I will care for you. That's just the kind of person I am, I guess.
I got a lot going for me. I'm going to stay busy and just do my thing. That's it.
-Lisa
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