Update.

I can't believe that school is in a few days! Let me update on a few things, the frosh dance was on Thursday night and it was hilarious trying to get them to dance. I had fun even though it was kinda hard in the beginning but at the end of the night we were dancing to Man in the Mirror and ending it off with the fight song.

After the end of the dance, the leadership class had got together and talked about how it all went. As sad as it is, the dance was so much fun for most of us because we didn't have to worry about what other people thought. Our main goal was to get the froshes to have fun. We all know that normally we wouldn't be worrying about the no booty in the wang-wang. But overall I enjoyed it. I really can't wait to see how the rest of the year will go!

Than this weekend I went camping with my fam @ Lake Wenatchee. I caught up on soo much sleep because that was all I did. It was waaay too cold to go swimming and I couldn't do much with any of the little kids.

I spent a good amount of time with the sister, but than again we ALWAYS spend time with each other. I barely remember what we had talked about at the end of the night because I was so tired.

Jack its sooo cooooold.

But I did have a lot of time to think about stuff.. again. No matter what I thought it always came back to the same conclusion.

"We just have to accept the fact that people are going to stay in our hearts even when they don't stay in our lives."

-Lisa

I think, I Think Too Much,

Lately, I've been having a lot of down time. So with that time I take the time to re-evaluate the occurrences of this life I've been given. I try to go on with each and everyday being thankful, never regretting, and knowing that each thing I have been given.. I am blessed for.

But I can't help but always think, Why?
Why did this happen?
Why did I do this?
Why didn't that happen instead?
The questions I ask myself go on and on.

The question I always seem to find myself asking is "Could it get any worse?" Sometimes I find it hard to keep going, especially when you reach you're breaking point. To each and every so-called bad experience you get, you grow.. Right? You become a stronger person.

But, can you become so strong to a point where you're numb to the pain that you should be feeling.. than you just don't anymore.

I've always been independent. I've never relied on anyone to help me pick up the pieces when they've fallen. It would be a routine, and I'd become used to it. When people say, "Are you okay?" It would be a ritual to say, "Yes, I'm fine." Than turn away, smiling, still knowing it really wasn't.

How come this time? I can't do it. I can't do it on my own.

& the person I needed the most turned and walked away.

-Lisa

Frosh are Friends NOT Food

Oh boy, did I think the theme for the frosh orientation was funny. I am soo exhausted though xp Even though things didn't run as smoothly as they could've been I thought it was had been pretty successful. I enjoyed trying to get those frosh's to get hyped up during the pep assembly. It was so long though.

What I didn't enjoy was how passive some of them would be. But than again, its a whole new place for them and I too was the same way when it came to my orientation.

I really just can't wait for this year to start because I'm going in with a whole different attitude.

-Lisa

Venting out.

The more I look around and listen, I realize that I'm not alone. We are all facing choices that define us. N o choice, however messy, is without importance in the overall picture of our lives. We all at our own age have to claim something, even if it's only our own confusion. I am in the middle of growing up and into myself.

---

I'm Tiired, Stressed out, and Fed Up. For some reason the smallest things have been really getting to me and I'm starting to reach my breaking point once again. The suck-ish thing is its not just one thing that is bothering me. Its as though every small problem is blowing up and no matter where I turn I'm facing something.

I can't hide or run away or just give up anymore. I need to keep my mindset to just dealing with it and trying to make the best out of every situation because THAT'S ALL I CAN DO. I'm fighting as hard as I can before I have no more else to give and I'm just done with it all.

Maybe I'm just being a little overly emotional at this moment, but I'm just upset and blogging it out is a way to just let go a little. I'm just hoping for things to go smoother as the days pass by.

-Lisa

Tidbit on Love

It takes 3 seconds to say "I love you," 3 minutes to explain it, 3 hours to demonstrate it, 3 days to appreciate it, & a lifetime to prove it. The hardest part in loving is when you can only view the person you love from a distance. It's only until you open your eyes to the one who's always there, if not you'll never realize how amazing it could've been.

The test of true love is having all the things go wrong but still having a special way to love despite all the wrong things that may happen.

Love isn't about becoming somebody else's "perfect person." Its about finding someone who helps you become the best person you can be. Love until it hurts, and when it hurts, love some more. And when it hurts some more, love even more, and when it hurts even more, love until it hurts no more. Love is the extremely difficult realization that someone other than oneself is real. You can't make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to the person to realize your worth.

Love is a commitment, not a feeling. Romance is not love. If I love you because you're beautiful, that's romance. But if you're beautiful because I love you, that's love. Never take love for granted because the best thing in this world is knowing that you are loved. So if you have someone special, hold that person close to your heart. We lose someone we love only when we are destined to find someone else who can love us more than we can.

When we are in love, we often doubt that which we most believe. Love knows no reason, love knows no lies. Love defies all reasons, love has no eyes. But love is not blind, love sees but does not mind. What lips hide, the eyes reveal. People say "I love you" just for the sake of saying it, some just for pity, & some because they promised. When you think real hard, the people who find it so hard to say are usually the ones who mean it. Love is everything its cracked up to be. Its worth waiting for, worth being brave for, and you know what? If you don't risk anything, you risk even more.

What is love? Those who don't like it call it a responsibility, those who play with it call it a game, those who don't have it call it a dream, those who love call it a destiny.

In times of darkness, love sees.
In times of silence, love hears.
In times of doubt, love hopes.
In times of sorrow, love heals.
And in all times, love starts within yourself.

Love is sometimes denied, sometimes lost, sometimes unrecognized. But in the end always found with no regrets, forever valued, kept and treasured. Whenever, wherever, if you are meant to be for each other, love will be there. You don't need to search for love, love will find you.

-Lisa

Serendipity<3

I'm a firm believer in serendipity: all the random pieces coming together in one wonderful moment, when you suddenly see what their purpose was all along.

I might edit this later, when I feel like blogging more but for now I'm going to leave it as is.

-Lisa

In Good Company

Love
The irresistible desire,
to be irresistibly desired.
--Robert Frost

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I believe that the best things in life happen when you least expect it, because you have high expectations on something than whatever is going on will just seem as though it didn't reach your standards.

I love to live in the moment and do things spontaneously. Yes, I love planning & having things be somewhat organized so things don't get way out of hand. But when you get stingy about it, & you're too worried about what others think, than you're not living in the moment.

Cherish the moments and don't let any of them pass you by.

Honestly, I love to laugh and smile and I try to have those around me do the same. That's just the person I am. But sometimes it really just bugs me when you're around others that come off as "too cool." Those people that give the attitude of being all high and mighty. And those that give the "I don't care". Don't you know that when you do that, you're hurting someone, regardless if you know it or not . .

This may come off naive, but I just don't understand why people have to be this way. It seems as though you're building yourself up. But for what? To get recognition of a jerk? To give off an impression. An impression to who? And the fact that you don't do things or hang out with someone because it might ruin your reputation? What the heck is with that?!

Maybe this is just something I'll never be able to understand.

But what I do know for myself is, I believe that all good happens when you're in good company. :D

-Lisa

Retreat ; Priorities ; Values

I will have poetry in my life and adventure and love;
love above all.
-Shakespeare In Love

---
In the past week I've kinda needed to re-evaluate my priorities and let me tell you it has been one emotional week. I don't know why, because before leaving for retreat I thought I had been set clear on what I wanted and how I was to approach everything, but I was proven so wrong.

We had done a few icebreakers that made me really think, "Wow, I don't like the person I am." But than again, if I don't accept myself for who I am, how am I supposed to get others to? I had to think about my past, think about my values, and my self-worth.

Through out all of the thinking, I just came to the conclusion that This is me, and whether you like it or not, I'm going to walk my talk and be who I am. I'm not going to let anyone else's negativity or actions affect me.

Its always made me think of how blessed I am, once again. I constanstly do need to remind myself that others do have it worse. And I love the fact that so many people have stuck with me even though some of my actions are irrational.

My summer feels as though its coming to end due to the fact that I have to come in almost every single day. But its all good. I'm actually happy to say that I'm excited for this year. It's yet another opportunity to grow and need I say learn? Yupp, Yupp. I'm done :)

-Lisa

Lost My Faith.

It takes a minute to have a crush on someone,
an hour to like someone
& a day to love someone,
but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

---
I never want to forget, maybe put things aside.. never forgetting though. No matter how hard it gets. Some days it can just get so hard. I remember when I had given up and that was it. I can't believe this was me 8 months ago;

Lost,
Jan 14, 2008
I don't know who I am anymore. Its like I've lost all meaning towards everything I do. I used to care so much. But all of a sudden I've got this don't care attitude. I don't want that. But since I'm well aware of this, than why am I acting this way.Things are getting too hard,too complex. I just don't know what to do.

I sounded so pessimistic. And I can just remember how much I had lost myself. I had lost my faith. And I had no intentions of finding it again. After numerous times of "getting myself in check", I came to the realization that moping around was not the answer.

It's funny to think how much time has passed. I can't ever imagine myself like that again. I've found my faith again and it's sticking around. Sure, I'm always having to remind myself of how blessed I am for the people in my life and how good I have it. But never will any time be taken for granted.

I just always hope. Hoping for strength. Hoping for the future. Hoping for others to open their eyes and see what's right in front of them.

-Lisa

First Blog for August!

I can’t believe we are already in August! This is insane. Now its totally crunch time. I’m busy this whole, which totally sucks. But I’m excited to go to the Retreat next Sunday. But 3 days? Ugh, seems forever. It’s going to be fun though.

Mostly, I can’t wait to get out of this house! Lately I’ve been feeling as though my parents are suffocating me. They keep holding on when its about time for them to let me go. I know it sounds pushy, but I’m ready to make it without them holding my hand.

I’ve had talks with my mom about this and it always the same . . We argue and it always comes off as me pushing her away but I just want her to see where I’m coming from.

I mean, c’mon . . Junior year! I’m growwwing up.

Goodness, I have so many different emotions going through my heart. I’m happy/anxious/satisfied/sad ? . . why?

Cause I’m constantly missing Matthew =/ I’ve honestly never thought I’d be able to feel this way about anyone, but things change. And this change was most def. for the good. There are so many reasons why I adore him as much as I do but the biggest reason is the fact that he allows me to be .. well, ME, when I'm around him.

I remember when I used to be all jealous when girls would start talking about how amazing their boyfriends are and I would always think to myself, "I've never understood that." But now, I know and it really is thee best feeling. I don't know what I did to deserve him but I truly feel blessed to have him in my life.

Wow, this blog is getting to be longer and more deep than I thought about writing from the start. But I'm just on a roll tonight. I'm going to end this with a quote :)

Imagine a future moment in your life,when all your dreams comes true. You know it's the greatest day of your life & you get to experience it with one person. Who's standing next to you?
-One Tree Hill

-Lisa