Updated yoo.

I want to believe in it all again. In art, fate, and love and I want to believe that I've made the right choice and that I'm on the right path and there's still time to fix the mistakes that I've made and I guess I want hope.
-One Tree Hill

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Okayy, so its been awhile since I last blogged so I need update just a little bit right now. Well school has just hella hectic. I'm hella feeling stressed about a lot of things. But I'm on top of most of it so its not too bad.

So far I have D's & F's in my classes but its mostly because I have hella make-up stuf to do because I've been missing a lot of days for leadership stuff. But I'm getting on top of it. I'm just hating that it's the first month and I'm already feeling as though I'm falling behind. =/ I just gotta relax about most of it. I know that things will be fine but for some reason that still doesn't stop me from freaking out about the little things.

The dance team had our first performance on Friday the 26th to the song When I Grow up by The Pussycat Dolls. Omg, hella nerve wracking. But overall it was pretty good for our first performance. But when we performed at the football game it was soo bad cause first off the band took effing forever to be done. So we weren't sure if we'd even have enough time. But Klocke said that it was still going to be okay. But we could not even hear the music. So we were out there talking to each other. Saying stuff like "Remember your lines" "HHAHA!" "Omg, this is bad" But even though that happened we did alright. Our next song is Closer by Ne-Yo & so far I like the choreography that we have. I was just hella out of it today during practice though. I'll get it by next practice, I'm hoping. Our next performance is at the homecoming football game. We've got 3 practices before it.

I'm super excited to go to my boyfriends homecoming this Saturday :) I've gotten my nails done, I know how my hair/make-up is going to be. & my dress is perfect.. well as perfect as its going to get. Haha. But boy, oh boy. I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed yet excited for so much that is going to happen.

-Lisa

Feeling Weak,

I'm sitting here just contemplating over the right and the wrongs. And I'm realizing that, it doesn't matter to me anymore. I used to care so much. But I am really at the point in my life where it doesn't matter anymore.

Accept me for who I am, Accept me for the things that I do. If you don't want to, that's also fine for me because I'm content with myself. That's what matters.

I've really had enough with the people that choose to walk out of my life and those that take advantage of my loyalty. I'm no longer going to be hoping/wanting someone to be my friend. That's pathetic, if you want to be than fight. I'm honestly so done. I really do have so much to give for those who give back to me.

I'm over crying, I'm over feeling weak, I'm over feeling as though I wasn't good enough to be a priorty because as I look at the bigger picture, I can see that I have so much more going. And I'm able to make it with the support of those that care.

To those people, I just have to say one thing. Thank you, because I know that sometimes I can be hard to deal with but I'm honestly so happy to those with the patience to help me.

A few things I'm looking forward to;
First Dance Performance is on the 26 @ the Pep Rally; King 5 News will be broadcasting it :)
Than Football game vs Everett for another performance, be there!
DECA will be heading to Camp Killoqua for another great leadership skilled activity.
Going to my boyfriend's homecoming =D
& so much more.

-Lisa

Blood Drive

Did you know when you donate blood, you can save 3 lives?

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So today was the 2nd day for the blood drive & I got to be a runner for it, which was fun because I got to miss my morning classes, except for the fact that I had to keep walking all the way across campus every like 15 minutes, but it was all good.

I'm really jelous of the people that are able to give blood. I remember during my freshman year, doing the blood drive was one of the things that I was looking forward to doing but than I find out you have to be a certain weight. Wth, right? I'm 5 lbs. under. Ugh!

The next blood drive is in February, so by than I'm hoping to gain that much to do it and actually be able to. There were a lot of people that tried to give blood but weren't able to do, which just really sucks, but its the thought of trying that counts!

-Lisa

Dreams.

A dream is a wish your heart makes ,
when your fast asleep.
In dreams you'll lose your heartaches ,
whatever you wish for - you keep .
Have faith in your dreams ,
& someday your rainbow will come shining ahead .
No matter how your heart is grieving,
if you keep on believing -
the dreams that you wish will come true.
- Cinderella

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Oh how I remember the feeling whenever I'd watch that movie. I believed that everything was possible. But now I can't help but wonder . .

-Lisa

A Tad Drained Out,

I'm running on low and I'm pushing through with everything I got in me. I got a lot on my plate but what the hell, you only live once. I must say that I'm balancing my schedule way better than I thought I would be. Which makes me happy. But I'm frustrated because of the fact of fast my schedule is getting pact. I can't double book, so I'm being supperr careful about that. I'm busy 'till uhm, December. Errrrg.

I love having dance practices though. It's such a good stress reliever. I'm really proud of the team right now because we've basically learned a whole dance routine within a week in a half. And that pretty good when we didn't meet at all during the summer. The only downside is that we have to dance in the skirts, but I'm thinking if we tweak some of the moves, it really won't be that bad. First performance will be September 26 @ the Football Game vs. Everett! Perfect, right?

Okay so something besides school., so the strike with Boeing is really suck-ish cause I can tell my Dad is hella bored at home. And the strike might last for a month or two. But lately my Dad's actually been doing some "parenting." It's really nice because when I was younger he was never really around. So now I'm just trying to get that time back. I know it sounds really stupid because you can't really make up all of it, but you can make the most of it now. I realize how tedious and stupid it was to be mad at him for stupid reasons.

Well, I just really need to shake away all this bad feeling. It's just gets really hard because whenever I get frustrated all I do is cry. And its just bullshit. I just gotta keep telling myself that it'll be fine later on.

You have to take the bad to get the good. That's just how it works. Be thankful for what you have, be hopeful for what's to come, and know that you're blessed with what you have. Never regret, learn from you're mistakes. Forgive, sympathize, and love.

-Lisa

Wasted Energy,

You don't want to let people in.
It's hard for you.
& once you let those people in,
you don't want to let them go.
And when they screw up, it's like, why would you do that to me?
I gave you my feelings,
I did everything for you,
& you still screwed me over.
It's like you wished they were a better person.
-The hills

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I can't sleep, which really sucks because I know later in the day tomorrow I'm going to be complaining about how tired I am. Its just lately, my mind has been drifting and I find myself spacing out to problems I shouldn't even be thinking about.

I've always told myself to not waste my time and energy on such pity little things. How come it seems as though when I do put things aside they eat away at me even more?

Sure, talking things out help. But how come it seems as though I've lost..

ITS EITHER YOU GIVE IN, GIVE UP, OR GIVE IT YOUR ALL.

I had given in, I had refused to give up but it seems as though I have, I gave it everything I had. So am I just done. Can you even be in that state? I'm not mad.. maybe I'm bitter at the whole situation. A little upset? Sure. But never mad.

-Lisa

Uhm, Sundays.

It felt like my weekend had went by super fast. And now it's time for school again tomorrow! It's insane because I can barely remember what I had done, so now I'm stuck here trying to finish all of my homework in which I had neglected in the few days I had left to finish.

All we can really do is cherish the days we have and not take them for granted right?

Well, I can't wait for this first full week of school. There's going to be a lot to do. Tomorrow I have a cabinet meeting in the morning and than I got dance practice afterschool :) I'm excited to learn the rest of the choreography. But oh boy, I still gotta change my schedule cause so far my US History class is a total bore to me!

-Lisa

The First Week,

The First week of school seemed like we had been in school for weeks now or something. I think maybe I have too much on my plate but like I've said before I really wouldn't want it any other way. I hate wasting time and I hate never having anything to do.

So yesterday was Arena Day and it was completely insane. Hasstedt had me running around everywhere and I was surprised that I didn't knock over any of the lined ropes. I was first assigned to make sure that no one was able to come back into the gym but than I had to take pictures for the Chairs evaluation sheets.

But later on in the next few periods we soon ed realized that it was taking too long for the photographers to explain was was going on with their ID cards because this is the first year that we actually had gotten our cards on the spot. So than some of us were assigned to explain to each student that once their picture was taken that they needed to look at the card and make sure that all of their information, IE ID # & names were correct. I must have said the same thing over 100 times! By the end of the day I could not talk anymore xp

But anyways, that was soo crazy. I missed all of my classes and now I gotta bunch to catch up on since I put it off for a day. I'm kinda stressed out about what dance is going to do though. Our first performance is coming up on the 19th. I got half of the routine down but I don't know the formations. I'm happy that we got a lot of practices from now 'till than and I'm hoping our coach puts in more practice days so that we're prepared for it.

Ahh! Just so much to do. But I'm happy the first week started off gooood :D

-Lisa

First Day!

. . . went really good. Even though I had to wake up super early for Hot Cocoa morning. Time seemed like it was going by so slow but than it sped up near the end of the day.

My highlights for the day;
Adv. Leadership - We got donuts & just talked about our hits & wishes on the events.
English 3 Honors - Wrote a paragraph about our partner's & let me tell you that mine about Bartee was awesome xp
US History - Funny stories, Hiroshima ?
Alg2Trig - Wrong/Right answers. Wtf eh.
Chemistry - Only 3 girls in the class! Haha.
Beginning Drama - We watched a movie on Broadway.

Than afterschool was a DECA meeting. Omg I feel so overwhelmed but I'm ready/excited/nervous for this year. But I'm soo overbooked. I don't know how I'm going to be able to juggle it all.

Well tomorrow I'm looking forward to our first dance practice since a long ass time! Ahh, its been so long. I can't wait to just start back up again with all the girls :)

-Lisa

WTFreak,

Time grabs you by the wrist -
directs you where to go.
So make the best of this test , and dont ask why.
It's a question , but a lesson learned in time.

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It's already September! >:[ Where did all the time go?! It seems as though on the last day of school the days to come were going to be endless. But 2 1/2 months had gone by super fast.

Agk, I must say that this summer has been the best by far. Lots of memories made, new friendships made, others became stronger, & I've learned a lot about the person I am, and the kind of person I want to be in the upcoming future. Need I say that some of my morals and intentions had been tested? . .

Although I am sad for the summer nights to end, I am ready for the school year. JUNIORS BABY! :D I don't even know what I'm going to tell people when they ask me what I did over the summer or what my favorite memory was. I had done so many things and shared experiences with people that I will never forget.

I know that its going to be hard on the relationship with my boyfriend, but that's what you have to do. You gotta fight, and you have to see how far it'll take you. He really is thee best thing that happened to this summer, actually not even this summer ; for the year. Sometimes I get scared to see what will happen, but I love taking the risk and I love that he's always there for me. <3

Wow, my emotions seriously feel so torn.
Happy/Sad, Happy/Sad, Happy/Sad, Happy/Sad.

-Lisa